When Someone You Love Is Having a Tough Time, Remind Them of These 20 Things

If someone you love is having a tough time right now, there are some things that you can remind them of which will help them trough their difficulties. Whatever you say to someone who is struggling, the most important thing is to ensure your tone of voice and demeanor is appropriate. Remind your loved one of the following things in a warm, encouraging way, and not in a “pull your socks up” way. Your approach will make all the difference to the response you get.

1. It’s OK Not to Be OK

When people are struggling, they often make themselves feel worse by placing unrealistic expectations on themselves. They beat themselves up for having a problem and feeling unable to cope with it. Remind your loved one that they are no less of a person just because they are facing something challenging right now. You love them and will support them in good times and bad.

2. You’re Not Alone

Identifying with the person who is struggling can help them feel better. They realize, then, that they are not bearing the weight of the world alone. Remind them that others have had this problem, and that they already have found a way through it. Just knowing that they are not alone can help them feel less lonely and more hopeful. Encourage your loved one to join a support group or forum if appropriate.

3. Let Go of Blame

Sometimes when people are struggling, they either want to blame themselves or other people for their circumstances. It’s OK to initially express anger and frustration, but wallowing in feelings of unfairness or blame will make them feel worse and wastes their energy. Help your loved one to see that the way out their difficulties is in looking for solutions and not in assigning blame or hanging onto angry feelings.

4. Struggles Make You Stronger

Wisdom, strength and resilience can all be built from the foundations of tough times. Help your loved one to see how they’re growing as a person, even if they feel like they’re going through hell. It’s so important not to be glib  or patronizing when you’re saying this ‒ actually tell your loved one the new strengths you see in them.

5. Take a Step Back

People going through tough times often lose perspective, because they feel so mired in the problem itself. Reminding someone to step back from the situation can help them to see things in a fresh light, and will help them find new solutions.

6. Nothing Lasts Forever

The terrible thing about really tough times is that they feel like they will go on forever. But, in reality, nothing lasts forever ‒ not even the most horrible emotions or the direst circumstances. Reminding your loved one of this can help them gain perspective and feel comforted at the same time.

7. Take Things Step By Step

Tough times can often bring complex and confusing feelings, and those who are struggling may feel paralyzed and unable to make decisions. Remind them that they don’t have to solve the whole problem at once. If they just do the next right thing, they will start to make progress.

8. Look For The Open Door

When life shuts one door, another one will always open. Losing something will always lead to new opportunities, but only if you are open to them. Remind your loved one to stay alert to fresh opportunities and solutions.

9. Just Do Your Best

People who are struggling can put so much pressure on themselves to get things right that they feel even more upset when they don’t meet their own unrealistic expectations. Remind them that as long as they just do their best, that’s all that matters. They are human, after all. Their best is good enough.

10. You’ve Come Through Tough Times Before

If someone you love is having a hard time, it may be difficult for them to see their strengths. Reminding them that they have already survived tough times before can show them that there is an end in sight, and that they have the strength to reach it.

11. You’re Brave

Most people who are struggling refuse to acknowledge how strong and brave they actually are. They may see themselves as weak and scared. Remind them that courage is not the absence of fear. It’s the willingness to go on even when you’re afraid.

12. There Is Something Good in Each Day

Going through difficulties can lead to a negative mindset. If someone is really going through a desperately hard time, and dealing with something like depression, being all happy-clappy with them won’t work. But do ask them about the good things in their life, what has gone well, and what they have achieved. It will help them to see a glimmer of hope, even in the darkness.

13. Look at What You’re Gaining

Even when someone has a difficult problem, there will always be an upside to it. Whether it’s finding out who their true friends are when they’re struggling, or having the opportunity to develop patience, strength and problem-solving abilities, there will always be a silver lining. Help your loved one to find it.

14. It’s Not Your Fault

Sometimes when people are struggling, they take their problems very personally, almost believing that their difficulties are sent in some way to punish them. If your loved one is doing this, reminding them that it’s not their fault can help them feel relieved.

15. Well Done

Validating someone for their efforts when they’re having a miserable time can make a big difference in their day. If someone is struggling, they may not acknowledge their own hard work. Giving them praise can help them feel rewarded and appreciated..

16. Focus on Now

Often people make their tough times even tougher by worrying about the future or fretting about the past. They may add to their misery by letting themselves think back to all the times life has treated them badly or that they’ve failed before; or they may fear that their current difficulty will lead to yet more problems. Remind them to focus on now, because that’s the only part of the story they can change at the moment.

17. Nothing Is Ever the End of the World

Very few problems, however big or small, can actually stop you from breathing. You can encourage your loved one by reminding them that everything is survivable and beatable. They will find a way of dealing with this issue, however tough, if only they keep trying.

18. Be Kind To Yourself

When someone is going through a hard time, they may feel so frustrated by their problems that they resort to beating themselves up or not allowing themselves a minute of reprieve from the issue. Remind your loved one that tough times are easier when we’re kind to ourselves. They are allowed “time off” from their problem to have a laugh, treat themselves, and be around good people. Relieving stress can actually help them to come back to the problem refreshed and recharged.

19. People Want to Help

If your loved one is suffering, they may believe that they have to go through it all by themselves. They may not want to burden others with their problems, and won’t want to ask for help. Remind them that most people are amenable to helping; in fact, helping feels good. The reason people have different strengths is precisely so that they can help each other. Encourage your loved one to seek extra help should they need it.

20. I’m There For You

The strength of these words can not be underestimated. Letting your loved one know that you’re there for them, and that you will listen to their feelings, dry their tears, or even just be around, can mean everything to someone going through hell. Just being a non-judgmental, caring presence in your loved one’s life can make a massive difference in how they feel and how they cope.

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20 Sentences People with Depression Hate Hearing the Most

Why are people so unsympathetic when their friends or loved ones suffer from depression? The main reason is that depression is very difficult to fully understand. Another reason is that there is a stigma attached to being depressed. Even though we live in a society which seems to revolve around physical well-being and being upbeat, we don’t want to be reminded of the other side. We want to forget depression exists. A person with cancer is likely to get a lot more support than a person suffering from depression.

It’s even worse when friends and relatives give some advice which does not help at all. The sad fact is that these opinions reflect an appalling ignorance about this mental illness. No, depression was not invented for Big Pharma, like some sort of conspiracy. This illness affects 350 million people worldwide. It causes enormous suffering and is a contributory factor in death by suicide. The alarming fact is that less than 50% of patients will seek treatment, mainly because of ignorance and apathy.

Here are 20 pieces of advice which are pretty useless when you are trying to help a loved one suffering from depression. Do not use these phrases if you’re trying to be sympathetic. They may have the opposite effect than desired.

1. You should snap out of it

If you suffer from depression, I bet you envy how simple snapping out of itwould be! This is not just a temporary blip on your sadness/happiness scale. It is debilitating, to the point where you cannot even get out of bed in the morning. You find it difficult to summon up enough energy. Motivation is beyond your capabilities.

If you note these symptoms in a friend, make sure that she or he gets diagnosed and treated. Especially if these feelings last more than two weeks. Symptoms will vary enormously. You may notice hopelessness, appetite and sleep problems. The important thing is to get a diagnosis.

2. Other people are far worse off, you know

This is not going to help a person solve their problems! The depressed person just needs a person to be there and give support. You do not have to say anything if that embarrasses you. However, you can also tell the person that they can get better and that you will be there to support them.

3. Life is tough

This will probably reinforce how bad the depressed person is feeling, rather than help them. You could help them more by saying that you feel empathy for them and are willing to help them get through it. Treatment may take the form of medication and/or psychotherapy.

4. You have to get on with it

This sends the wrong message. It reinforces the sense of isolation that a depressed person feels. The best way to help them is by sending texts or just phoning them to let them know there is someone who cares. Susan Serani’s book, Living with Depression provides excellent examples of practical ways to help.

5. You are too introspective

The implication here is that depression really is a minor problem. You’ll come across as being judgemental and critical. The best way to show affection and love is to avoid statements like these which isolate the individual even more.

6. You are far too sensitive

This belittles the depressed person because they will think that their illness is being regarded as a character flaw and nothing else. A much better approach would be to take the person out for a walk. You can try and encourage them to get out and do something every day.

7. Life goes on

“Living with depression is like living with a 40 ton weight on your chest — you want to get up and move, but you just feel like you can’t.” – from an anonymous individual suffering from depression.

Telling a depressed patient that life goes on anyway will appear like brushing the whole thing under the carpet. It will appear that you are not really concerned at all.

8. Just go out and enjoy yourself

Suggesting fun times does not help at all, unless you are prepared to accompany your depressed friend and encourage them to try to take baby steps every day. Lending support means being there, or at least phoning to remind them that they have to do “X” today and “Y” tomorrow.

9. Aches and pains are just normal

A strange thing about depression is how often the condition is diagnosed by patients experiencing physical aches and pains, rather than mood and motivation problems. Encourage them to get a diagnosis and offer your help.

10. You have got so many things to be grateful for

The depressed patient does not want to hear about gratitude. Their main worry is that the sheer exhaustion and loss of interest will become permanent. It is always a good idea to remind the suffering individual that treatment can be effective. Depression need not last forever.

11. Cheer up

My uncle used to tell my depressed aunt to, “Cheer up”. The effect was just the opposite. It actually made her cry even more. His total misunderstanding of her condition was not helpful at all.

12. You’re strong, you will be fine

Yes, some people are strong and may have even coped with despondency or despair. If you are depressed, you may feel that your life means nothing to anyone else out there. Again, just listening can be reassuring for the person with depression.

13. You should stop feeling sorry for yourself

This suggests that the depressed person has a rather weak personality and is flawed in some way. A much more helpful response would be to actually sitting down and listening to the depressed person’s problems and feelings.

14. You should take vitamins for your stress

An offer of an over-the-counter cure will not help at all, as you are not really qualified. It is much better to urge the sufferer to get treatment and to offer to accompany them, or help them seek a specialist.

15. You should phone me

If you are a real friend, you should be the person who reaches out to the sufferer and show him or her that you really do care.

16. You should buy nicer clothes

Your friend’s wardrobe may look a mess, but this will not cure their depression. Going on a shopping trip together would be a much better idea.

17. You know that everyone has problems

When you say this, the implication is that the depressed person has actually made a choice to be miserable and unhappy. Comparisons with the vast majority of the population are not at all helpful. It would be much better to say that you are trying to understand their problems. Encourage them to seek help and advice online.

18. You should try harder

Harsh and critical comments like this will not help one little bit. The attitude of family members and close friends are often crucial in whether a person will recover from depression.

19. You should be better by now

Impatience is a sign to the depressed person that nobody really understands what they are going through. A more compassionate approach without deadlines would be much more helpful.

20. You will have to learn to live with it

Learning to live with depression with no way out is like entering a dark tunnel. Pep talks, platitudes and the so-called encouraging remarks only make matters worse. It is much better to follow the steps I have outlined below if you really want to help.

What we can do to help depressed persons

• Most experts agree that just being there and being supportive can be very helpful.
• We can learn about depression, its causes and symptoms
• We can encourage the depressed person to get diagnosed and treatment. We can help them with day-to-day tasks and objectives. We can also stop by and remind them of a task later that day. Or we can simply give them a call, and have a short chat while we’re at it.
• We can encourage them to join online forums which cater to depressed persons. This is a great place to get support although it will never be as effective as a real live presence.
• We should never give the impression that it is the patient’s fault or criticize them in any way.
• We should encourage and supervise their daily routines such as regular eating, exercise and sleep.
• We should be able to talk to them about suicide, should they mention it. The important thing is to go over the thoughts but suggest a different solution.

Let us know in the comments below how you have helped a depressed person on how to cope with their illness.

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Ascii codes from 1 to 255

              Write Java program to print the table of characters that are equivalent to the Ascii codes from 1 to 255. 

Code Here :

 public static void main(String[] args) {

       char Asci=1;

       for(int i=1 ; i<=255 ; i++){

            System.out.print(i+" "+Asci +" ");

            Asci++;

       }

       

    }

    

}

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Ten Sum Integer

             Write a program that asks the user to type 10 integers and writes the sum of these integers. Using for loop. Total sum of ten integer ( 1+2+3+4+5+6+7+8+9+10=55) .

Code here :

 public static void main(String[] args) {
        int sum=0;
       for(int i=1 ; i<=10 ; i++){
            System.out.print(i + " + ");
            sum = sum +i;
       }
       System.out.print("\b\b\b");
       System.out.println(" = " + sum);
    }
    

}

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Java Code for Smallest And Largest of Three Integer

             Write a program that will ask the user to input three integer values from the keyboard. Then it will print the smallest and largest of those numbers. 

Code Here :

public static void main(String[] args) {

        int Num1, Num2, Num3, Maxi=0, Mini = 0;

        Scanner In = new Scanner(System.in);

        System.out.print("Enter Three Interger Number: ");

        Num1 = In.nextInt();

        Num2 = In.nextInt();

        Num3 = In.nextInt();

        if (Num1 > Num2 && Num1 > Num3 ) 

            Maxi = Num1;

        else if (Num2 > Num1 && Num2 > Num3)

            Maxi = Num2;

        else if (Num3 > Num1 && Num3 > Num2) 

            Maxi = Num3;

        if(Num1 <Num2 && Num1 < Num3)

            Mini = Num1;

        else if (Num2 < Num1 && Num2 < Num3)

            Mini = Num2;

        else if (Num3 < Num1 && Num3 < Num2)

            Mini = Num3;

        

        System.out.println("Maximize Number is: " + Maxi);

        System.out.println("Minimize Number is: " + Mini);

    }

}

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Java Code for Display the calculator menu

               Write a program that will display the calculator menu. The program will prompt the user to choose the operation choice (from 1 to 5). Then it asks the user to input two integer vales for the calculation. See the sample below.

Code Here :

 public static void main(String[] args) {

        int Num1, Num2, op, Result = 0;

        char ch;

        do {

            Scanner In = new Scanner(System.in);

            System.out.println("MAIN MENU");

            System.out.println("1.Add");

            System.out.println("2.Subtract");

            System.out.println("3.Multipy");

            System.out.println("4.Divide");

            System.out.println("5.Mudulus");

            System.out.println(" ");

            System.out.print("Enter Yours Choice: ");

            op = In.nextInt();

            System.out.print("Enter Your Two Number: ");

            Num1 = In.nextInt();

            Num2 = In.nextInt();

            switch (op) {

                case 1:

                    Result = Num1 + Num2;

                    break;

                case 2:

                    Result = Num1 - Num2;

                    break;

                case 3:

                    Result = Num1 * Num2;

                    break;

                case 4:

                    Result = Num1 / Num2;

                    break;

                case 5:

                    Result = Num1 % Num2;

                    break;

                default:

                    System.out.println("You're Enter in Wrong Operator");

            }

            System.out.println("Your Result is: " + Result);

            System.out.println(" ");

            System.out.print("Do you want to calculate agian ? : [Y/N] ");

            ch = In.next().charAt(0);

        }while(ch=='y' || ch=='Y');

        

    }

}

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Java Code for: Input n positive numbers

       Write a program that will ask the user to input n positive numbers. The program will terminate if one of those number is not positive.

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